What’s the Worst Book Title You’ve Come Across?

Most book titles are pretty basic. Nothing too memorable. At least not to me. You remember them because of the story and not because of the title. Although some do serve as reminders of what the story was about if it’s been a long time since reading it. For instance, Halo: The Fall of Reach is about the fall of Reach. How easy to remember. And The Cleanup is about a cop who is thrust into action when a local girl he knows calls him for help and there’s a dead body. He has to clean up her mess. Easy. I read that years ago.

But not all titles are like that. Storm Runners. No earthly idea what it’s about, besides the fact that it probably has something to do with a meteorologist or something. A Cold Day in Paradise. No idea. Kisscut. Not a clue. I’m not saying that these are bad titles, but they just don’t set off any bells when I think of them.

I mean, I don’t expect to really remember minute details from every book I ever read. Obviously that’s not going to happen. But maybe these titles aren’t the greatest ever. Maybe.

Anyway, that’s not the point. When you read those titles you’re not immediately taken aback or pushed away from possibly reading the book. So they’re all fine. But some books just ask not to be read. Better yet, their authors force your hand. I know we all have our reading habits and tastes, but let’s be real for a minute. There is not an audience of tens of millions of people in America who want to be reading about incest. No, not a book in which there is some inappropriate sexual contact, I’m talking about books that are basically meant to glorify the practice. So I don’t have a specific title that is the worst I’ve ever come across. But any mention of one’s brother’s you-know-what in the title is about as bad as it gets for me. And then the authors of these books complain when Amazon or Barnes and Noble or Kobo force a title change if the book is to be sold online. What a damn joke. The stories and the authors.

What’s the worst book title you’ve ever come across?

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16 thoughts on “What’s the Worst Book Title You’ve Come Across?

  1. I hate titles that are themed as for example the Sookie Stackhouse series, after a while you eventually realize that the series is dying, losing its creativity just as the redundant, repetitive titles suggest.

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  2. “I’m dancing as fast as I can.” No idea what is means.

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  3. My Lobotomy It is the true story of the hell a teenage lad was put through back in the fifties by his step mum. I was asked when seen carrying it, if it was my biography.

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  4. “Melody Pond And The Bridge To Nowhere.” Great book, terrible name. I think, in general (Name) And The (Object) is a bad format for book titles. Now, obviously, sometimes the books make up for it with their sheer awesomeness, (See: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc.) but most of the time if I pick up a book in the library and it’s titled “Someone And The Something” I put it back down.

    *P.S: I am having way too much fun chasing the snow around with my mouse. Love the snow. The snow is amazing.

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  5. I see you asked for the worst, but a book title that’s just great (imho) is “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” by John Berendt (non-fiction)

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  6. “The Coldest Girl In Coldtown”… come one now… at least TRY

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  7. I think the title of a book should set the mood or tone of the book. The Fault in Our Stars, for instance, sounds like a literary drama. Die Trying, which is a Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child, sounds like a thriller. It sounds like a James Bond book. The Great Gatsby sounds like a classic about someone great. I’ve always liked the titles to pulp fiction novels.

    I think in many cases the author’s name on the book cover is even more important. Stephen King, for instance, is more important than Under the Dome. Doesn’t matter what his book is called. People are going to pick it up. It could be called Title, for that matter, which in my mind could be the worst title for a book ever. But in Stephen King’s case, it wouldn’t matter.

    I’m hoping that someday people will pick up my novels based on my name alone. But if they don’t, I’ll try to at least entice them with an interesting and catchy title.

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