Saturday Selects #19: It’s all about control

Saturday Selects is a series of posts in which I discuss a random topic unrelated to the general bookish theme of the blog on the first Saturday of each month. Today we have a topic that I feel strongly about.

I’d be willing to bet that some of y’all can already guess what I’ll be talking about even though I haven’t said a thing about it just yet. Because it’s something we’ve all experienced or seen for ourselves. I’m talking about control. And more specifically, about control when it comes to dating.

Let me preface this by saying that I’ve never been in a real relationship. But I won’t let that stop me from having an opinion on something like this. Because in every instance it is unacceptable, and it doesn’t take much more than common sense to realize that.

Do you know anyone in a relationship who must know EXACTLY where their partner is at all times? Do you know anyone in a relationship who constantly makes all the important decisions ON THEIR OWN? Do you know anyone in a relationship who must have ALL the passwords to their partner’s social media accounts? Do you know anyone in a relationship who openly admits to looking through their partner’s texts and/or phone?

I’m sure you do. One, two, or even all of those. These people would likely argue that it’s about trust. And you shouldn’t have to hide anything in a relationship. And to that I’d say, “You aren’t fooling anyone with that nonsense.” To me, it’s about control. One person controlling the other person in a relationship. And there’s no discrimination here. It can definitely be either person, so don’t go thinking I’m only talking about guys or girls. Nope.

The worst thing is when these people who must be in control accuse their partner of lying or being unfaithful ALL THE TIME. Girl texting a guy friend? Oh, they’re obviously having sex. Girl posting selfies on social media? Oh, she obviously wants the attention of other guys. Guy Snapchatting a girl? Oh, they’re obviously sexting. Guy has a girl friend he’s known his whole life? Oh, they had to have hooked up before.

I’m not saying that these things don’t happen, but there’s a certain level of insecurity in a person who thinks it’s happening with every one of their partners. And quite frankly, no one should have to deal with it. I don’t call that a healthy relationship. It’s one thing to discuss things. It’s something else completely to have those discussions entirely one-sided.

If you’re someone who does any of these things in a relationship, then stop. I don’t typically go around telling people what they should or should not be doing, but I have no issue this time around. You’re wrong. And that great guy or girl you’re with is going to realize that there are plenty of people out there who want to be in a real relationship with them rather than control their life. And the day that happens is the day you’re left alone because of this need of yours to be in control of another human being.


On this day in 2014 I published Characters and Their Pets.

 

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It’s Guest Post Week!

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I made the image in Snapchat just for you.

Remember a few weeks ago when I asked for guest bloggers to guest post during the week of February 23-27? No? Well I did. And on that day I basically gave any person reading this blog the opportunity to write a post about anything that you would normally find on here. Because let’s be real, y’all are tired of my writing style and topic choice. I know you are even if you’re shaking your head no. And I’m hoping y’all really enjoy this week of different voices and opinions.

So here’s how it’s going to happen. I currently have four posts (I’m expecting the fifth in the coming days) and the posts will be 100% written by the guest bloggers themselves. All I’ve done is read through them to make sure there aren’t any typos. If all goes according to plan, you won’t hear from me until Saturday. And all you have to do is sit back and enjoy these posts written specifically for you.

Last thing, if you enjoy what you read then check out their blogs! Cause you can never follow too many good blogs, right?

Guest bloggers, I definitely encourage you to reply to any comments on your posts. I’ll be checking during the week and if you aren’t replying then you’ll just be discouraging me from doing anything like this again.

See y’all Saturday!

PS: there were a few bloggers who expressed interest in participating this week (or I specifically asked them to) but did not write me a post. So you will for sure not be hearing from A. M. Freeman, Patricia Hamill, Deborah Bowman, or Jess from Like Star Filled Skies. Feel free to block their blogs. I have. Or have I? La La La.

Get Anything Bookish This Christmas?

I have to be honest. I’m not big on Christmas. I would be perfectly fine if we didn’t celebrate it at all. Which is why each and every year I tell my family that I don’t want anything, and mean it. But of course they still try to find something to get me. Which is fine, I guess. I’d prefer they spend their money on more useful things. Anyway, this year I did just as I have in previous years. I said I didn’t want anything. Which left them to just get whatever. It was basic stuff. Pretty much all clothes. AND SOCKS! But for the second year in a row one of my brothers got me something bookish. They’re bookends! But they look almost exactly like one of our former pets. Here. Look.

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Uh can you say awesome? I’m even going to dust off my bookshelves before I use them. Last year he got me some fancy bookmarks. Or was it two years ago? One of the two. Anyway, these little guys were my only bookish gifts this year and I think they’re great.

What about you? Did you get anything bookish this Christmas? Like books, maybe? Tell me.

Are any of you on SnapChat? You see from the picture that I am. Add me “jguillen12” I’ll send you the most random snaps you can imagine. Unless you’re boring, then I won’t. Ha.

Saturday Selects: Blogging amidst your social media

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For all you newcomers to my wonderful blog, the first Saturday of each month I write a post about something unrelated to my typical book posts. It’s my way of discussing other topics that interest me and bringing a LITTLE bit of diversity to the blog. This week we’re talking about how blogging relates to your other social media accounts. I’ve had this post in my head since the last time I did a Saturday Selects post over a month ago. Let’s begin.

I definitely don’t have the greatest social media presence. I’m on Twitter, Facebook, and WordPress. That’s it. No Pinterest. Or Tumblr. Or Instagram. Or Snapchat. Or Vine.

Facebook

I first joined Facebook all the way back during my sophomore year of high school. That would be ’07-’08. Ish. I thought it was pretty cool. I started adding all those people I had been in school with for years. I even interacted with plenty of them. BUT then, like seemingly everyone else, I just lost interest. I mean, the platform itself is essentially the same as it’s been, but now there are so many other options out there. My blog is linked to it and I post a status about once a year. Seriously, I checked. I mostly go on there for Vines and memes. Judge me. But I should also admit that I do not talk to a single person from my high school graduating class. Not one. That was just four years ago. So maybe that’s why I lost interest. I don’t have anyone to talk to.

Twitter

I first made an account on Twitter in 2009. The site was used, but it wasn’t what it is today. I didn’t know a single person who had an account. I didn’t use it again until 2011. By then it was wildly popular and EVERYONE I knew had an account. I think I tweeted like 90 times or something and again stopped using it. Then I started writing and knew it would help people find me IF they somehow read my book and wanted to follow me. I’ve stuck to it since about September. I used to strictly tweet about writing and books but now I tweet pretty lame stuff just like everyone else. I like it. It’s okay. BUT I still don’t have many followers. Like 58 or something. If you follow me on here and like what I post then you should follow me on there to get a glimpse at me in a different medium. Come on. I’ll follow back and if you tweet interesting things I’ll even favorite or tweet you back! I have that Twitter thing on the side for ease of access. But you can just go ahead and click here if you want to. You should. I’m funny on there.

WordPress

I don’t remember ever hearing about any person I knew ever maintaining a blog throughout high school or even during college. Well, as soon as I walked across the stage at my university’s graduation ceremony almost a year ago I started this bad boy. My original intent was to only talk about my writing process and the journey to publishing my first book. I stuck with that until January of this year. When I realized that there were so many things I wanted to say about writing and books and publishing. That’s how I’ve gotten to interact with all of you! I honestly don’t see how I’ll ever stop blogging. It’s wonderful. It’s like interacting with hundreds of versions of me. We all love books!

My Favorite

I’d think it fairly obvious by this point that blogging is easily my favorite social media platform. Honestly, I love it. I love interacting with people who share the same interests as I do. I love reading such great posts every single day. I love having people read the posts I write. I love talking to people from all over the world. But most of all I love being able to share a part of me that I don’t get to discuss much in person with people I know. I do have a handful of people who are genuinely interested in my writing, but it’s not the same as the people I meet on here. I mean, I’m not going to go up to any friend of mine and ask how they name characters in their book. I have no writer friends. I can’t ask them what they think of the bestselling authors since 2001 because they don’t care and likely don’t know half of them. I can’t ask them what their favorite series of books is because they’ve likely read Harry Potter and nothing else. And I can’t ask them what they think of Amazon’s 100 books list because they don’t know it exists. But I can do ALL of those on here.

Thank you for that. And thank you for reading and interacting with me every week.

You’re awesome.

What’s your favorite social media site to use? I don’t mind if it’s one of those sites I don’t use.

Photo Credits: Florida State University College of Communication and Information

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